*~*Everything I’ve Never Had by Lynetta Halat – EXCLUSIVE Alternate Adrian POV, Review & Giveaway!*~*

Well…I absolutely LOVED Everything I’ve Never Had by Lynetta Halat – so when I asked her if she wanted to do an Alternative POV scene for me and she said Yes…I SQUEE‘d!!!

Celeste Hebert has always    appeared to have it all, but there are many things she’s never had, been forbidden from having.

One night. One song. One kiss. The perfect trifecta to unleash the floodgates of a forbidden attraction between the widow and her husband’s bad boy cousin, Adrian.

Celeste endeavors to rebury the feelings that surface after this one night since her powerful family despises him. Kindred spirits, best of friends they attempt to douse their attraction; however, Adrian always seems to know exactly how to push her buttons and may prove too much to resist.

Having defied his family by making his way on his own terms, Adrian struggles to regain their acceptance. When he meets his cousin’s wife and wants her for his own, he feels he’s finally lived down to the title—black sheep. But, when his cousin dies unexpectedly, Adrian fights his attraction and swears to honor them both by helping her raise her boys.

Finding himself enveloped in a cocoon of love and acceptance, Adrian knows it’s more than just physical attraction. However, unforeseen events threaten to destroy those he now holds dear and his newfound peace.

Will the ties that bind them be their undoing?

Who wants more Adrian???  🙂  

No matter how many times I lose men in combat will I ever get used to discussing the specifics of it in a clinical manner. But such is the life of a Marine in combat. I make my way to my bags and dig out my stash of whiskey along with my notebook and pen.

“Anybody seen Traeger?” I ask as I head out of the tent.

“‘Round by the Hummers, Captain,” someone calls.

I weave in and out of the vehicles, looking for him until I hear sniffing as I round the backside of one of the vehicles.

Sliding down beside him, I nudge him with my knee. “Traeger?”

He looks up, alarmed that he’d been caught showing some emotion.

“Sorry, Captain, I just needed a few minutes.”

“Don’t apologize, brother,” I say, unscrewing the top of the whiskey I’d had my lovely wife smuggle me. Passing it to him, I tell him, “Take a swig of this and tell me something about Mills.”

He takes a long pull, winces and passes it back to me. Laughing, he says, “He was an asshole, sir, but he was also my best friend. We grew up together back in Alabama. He’s the reason I joined the Corps.”

I laugh with him. “Tell me something I don’t know about him.”

“Hmm…he got his girl pregnant when they were seniors in high school, and he never left her, never strayed. Got them both graduated, enlisted, and spent the rest of his life fighting for his country and loving his family.”

“Damn, how old’s their kid?” I ask as I take deep drink, feeling the burn but then praying the whiskey will set fire to my memories like it does my throat.

“Four and they have one on the way,” he answers as his voice cracks.

I close my eyes and shake my head. You never wish it was you, but sometimes it comes so fucking close you thank God it wasn’t. I’d never been so grateful to cheat death than I was today. The thought of leaving Celeste and the kids nearly cripples me. “I’m sorry to hear they’ll be without him,” I say finally.

“You been at this a long time, Captain, how do you do it? I don’t know if I’m cut out for it.”

“You can and you will, brother. You just have to remember that he died an honorable death, doing what he believed in, and protecting those he loved. Protecting both the innocent and the damned without regard for his own feelings.” Everything I just said is bullshit and we all know it. We lie to ourselves and our loved ones on the subject of our death and honor on a daily basis. When death comes like this, when we bring death and destruction, there is no honor and there is no glory. It’s ugly and it’s scary as hell. And when you cheat it, you’re grateful. That’s when guilt kicks in and starts kicking your ass. Why did I survive? What makes me so special that I was spared? Why I am thanking God that it was him and not me? What does that say about me?

I take another drink and pass it to Traeger so he can get his fill. “Let’s go watch something. Something that reminds of us why we put ourselves through this shit.”

“Y’all get that video pulled up for me?” I ask as we reenter the tent. The mood was somber when I left. Their mood seems to be improving a bit. We have to get up quickly, or there’ll be no getting up at all.

“Sure did, sir,” one of the privates calls out, “and with all due respect, your wife is fuckin’ hot.”

This elicits a round a laughter and a few of the guys close to him pummel him and tell him he can’t talk to a captain like that and more than that he can’t talk about a captain’s wife like that. I just glare at him even though I couldn’t agree more. I’d never seen anyone hotter or sexier or more beautiful. Shit! Thanks, asshole. I adjust myself before settling in front of the computer.

I push play and everyone crowds around the tiny screen to see my older son perform “Come Together” with his three-man band that includes my middle son as well.

I get a few slaps on the back and a “Hell yeah, Captain!” as Archer and Paris perform. They are amazing. A few little things they could work on but almost flawless.

As the music winds down, Archer says, “Papa, I hope you and the guys like the song we did for you. We hope y’all are staying safe. And we miss you.” I have to blink back my tears.

About that time, Finn pops up in front of the camera. “Hey, Papa! Archer and Paris wouldn’t let me in their stupid video, so I’m gonna make you my own, OK?” The guys and I lose it as Finn starts grabbing his crotch and moonwalking while Archer and Paris roll their eyes and shake their heads.

“That’s your youngest, Captain?”

“Yep, that’s Finn. He’s a mess.”

“Cute kid.”

About that time, Finn gives us a super close-up of himself as he steps in front of the camera, grabs it, and points it at the basement stairs. My heart stops and then triple times it when I spot her on the staircase carrying a load of laundry. She’s got on my favorite fuzzy socks, the ones she thinks make her less irresistible. Her black hair is down and flowing, and she’s got her glasses on. When she realizes Finn’s got the camera trained on her, her big brown eyes go wide and she says, “Finn, get that camera off of me. What are you doing?”

“It’s for Papa. Say hi, Mom!” Then he zooms in on her. I get a couple of pats on the back and a “Well done, Captain!” when she smiles and bites her lip.

I hear her groan a little and I have to adjust myself again. “Hi, honey, we sure do miss you,” she says quietly. Then she mouths, “I love you, baby.” And I’m shredded.  A look, a sound, a word—that’s all it takes.

Finn cuts the camera off and the video stops, and for a second, it feels like my world stops right along with it. I have to get back to them. There’s no other option.

I clear my throat and stand up and turn to face my men. I point at the screen and tell them, “That’s why we do we what we do, brothers. Love and family and innocence. That’s all that matters in this world. They need our protection. And as much as we fucking hate it, that cause comes with sacrifice. We lost some good men today, and their families have to pick up the pieces and live without them, but they’ll be living safe and sound because we’ll pick up the torch and make that happen. We do it for them and for the fallen. Their lives will not be lost in vain.”

“Ooh-rah!”

***

Crouching down by the back of one of my vehicles, I start writing about how close I’d come today, how scared I was that it was almost me, how much I love her, how I’m dying without her, without our boys. I shed a few tears before I finish writing. I sign it, rip it out, and then crunch it up in a tight ball in my fist. I glare at it and wonder how many more times I will ball up all I can never tell her. Swallowing hard, I take in my fingernails still embedded with blood and dirt. Will I ever be clean again?

I take a deep breath, lay my crumpled thoughts to the ground, and write a letter I can actually send.

Wife,

Have you ever wondered why I call you my heaven? It may seem blasphemous, but you are the only place I feel safe, at home, accepted, and loved. When you wrap your love around me, I knew it was all I’ll ever need out of this life. You’re my salvation, my solace, my haven. Like your grace and your compassion, my feelings for you are infinite.

 

You’re my heaven. And when I’m with you or thinking of you, I drown in your limitless nature, and I exist in a constant state of being overwhelmed by you. I can’t fathom a more perfect way to live.

 

Now, mimi that’s a different story, pussycat. You are fierce and fearless. I’ve never known anyone who shows as much unbridled passion as you. Just thinking about how eager and insatiable you are has me hard and wanting to get lost in you in a whole different way. Only a few more hours and I get to be your midnight caller. 😉 I hope your battery’s charged ‘cause I’m afraid you’re in for an all-nighter.

 

Your life, your love, your husband,

Adrian

Everything I’ve Never Had by Lynetta Halat

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

*ARC Given to Blog for Honest Review*

4.5 ‘mimi’ ‘Give Me My Blues’ Kisses

OMG I loved this book. Loved it. Straight up, lots of reasons why I loved it but that doesn’t even begin to really justify my love for it…I just freaking did. The characters were amazing, the angst was off the charts, the love…omg their love…yeah. I just freaking couldn’t put this book down. Like finished it in 24 hours kind of thing.

Celeste Marie Dubois Hebert…at 37 she is a widow and a single mother to her three boys (Archer, Paris and Finn – but I’ll get to them in a minute) and she wow’d my socks off. Losing your husband to cancer is hard…period. Add in the fact that she grew up with him, basically spent half her life married to him and he was kind of all she knew. They didn’t have this all-encompassing, passionate love, but what they had meant the world to her. She’s also got an over bearing family – yeah…not just mom and dad, there’s a whole slew of people ready to run her life for her…and they kind of have been, for a while. I have to say, I really enjoyed watching Celeste’s development through the course of the book. If it was even possible, she grew stronger in my eyes…and I’d like to think that was thanks to a certain super hot and dreamy Marine/Guitarist.

‘It’s that moment. That moment when we think everything is happening on course. No ripples, no waves. We’re just trying to get through another day, feeling like all the little things overwhelm us and they do because they end up making up our day. We get so focused on the little things that we forget the bigger picture. Sometimes we forget to appreciate the little things that truly matter because our vision is so clouded by all of the mundane. The here and now become our obsession, and we forget the concept of our finite state because with all the little things vying for our attention it feels like we’ll go on forever.’

Adrian Gabriuel LeBlanc Hebert is amazing. I love him. Do you want the laundry list of reasons why I love him? Good…
1. He’s a marine – I LOVE a man in uniform – Oorah!
2. He plays the guitar & is in a band – that should need no further explanation
3. He has a motorcycle – yum!
4. And a truck – double yum!
5. He loves kids – it might just be the way he is with Celeste’s kids, but still…damn! Panty melter alert!
6. He has gorgeous blue eyes
7. He’s T, D & H – tall, dark and handsome…triple yum!
8. He likes to hold hands
9. He has a very talented mouth 😉 He can sing you perverts! And do other stuff 😛
10. He’s sweet and romantic and kind and passionate and so many other freaking things!
I could literally write a list a mile long with the things I loved about Adrian. Because I am seriously struggling to think of anything I didn’t like about him. That’s not to say this man is perfect, he did piss me off a couple of times…but he can’t be 100% perfect, we all make mistakes and while his mistakes hurt…and some hurt pretty deep…they are not unforgiveable mistakes. I think the one thing that made me love him the most was the fact that not once from page one till the end did his love for Celeste ever waiver. Ever. I never questioned him…even though there were parts where Celeste did, I knew better.

‘But when I make eye contact with those ocean-blue eyes of his, images of kissing him, joking with him, him playing with my boys, him holding my hair back while I was sick all come rushing to the forefront. All my emotions are jumbled with these memories. Like seaweed they weave their way through my brain and tangle themselves so thoroughly with everything that I am that all I can see is love when I look at him—and it’s not friendly love or familial love—it’s all-encompassing, I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-loving-you love.’

So Adrian and Celeste may have had insta-attraction…but their love is a beautiful thing. It’s cultivated over 2 years of the tragedy of losing her husband, Adrian being there for her and especially for the boys, sharing things with each other, bonding, building this friendship and relationship over time. They had this incredibly strong foundation so while yes, there was a tremendous steam factor with their attraction, you were more in love with them as a couple. But please don’t get this dirty book whore wrong…there was plenty to lust over. Oh boy…some of those kisses…just damn. Oh…and this is not a wham-bam-thank you ma’am book! These two make you work for it…

“It’s just because you can’t have me, Adrian. I’m nothing special.”
“Oh, baby, you have no idea.” He runs his nose up my throat, scenting me as he goes. I lean my neck back, giving him more access even as my brain screams at me to run—not walk—out of this room. But when he says, “You’re everything to me.” My head falls back even further and my eyes close again as I feel him slant his head and attack my jaw, throat, and neck with closed-mouth kisses. I hear myself moan and give myself one more little jolt to try to spare myself from this delicious torment that will only end in frustration.
Adrian works his way back up my throat, but this time, it’s his tongue that leaves a scorching path of devastation. I feel as though I’ve been flayed open and am just a quivering pile of nerve-endings. “Oh my God, Adrian, what are you doing to me?” I manage.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he murmurs against my throat. “You’re driving me insane. We shouldn’t be here. Doing this. Yet, here we are again. And I can’t stop.”

So I think what did me in was the angst. The push and pull, the flow of their relationship, the longing and desire and oh my sweet goodness the passion. They had it all and I felt every last ounce of it. I ached with Celeste, I pined for Adrian and I couldn’t get enough. Their reason for not being together while slightly frustrating is still understandable. Adrian’s reasons and logic were completely understandable, just slightly grrr inducing. I felt for Celeste because every time she would get that resolve to stay away from him, move on or at least try to, all it took was a touch, a smile, a look and all her strength came crashing down. It’s that kind of love you cannot deny.

‘He draws my forehead to his lips and places a light kiss there. “I love you so much, Cel. I didn’t think it was possible, but every day that we’re together I fall more in love with you. I…it blows my fucking mind.”’

So there are a lot of characters to love (and dislike and sometimes hate) in this book but I would say there are three that almost stole the show. Archer Finn and Paris…Celeste’s sons. OMG…LOVED them. They each have a very unique personality and were just these fabulous little characters…I almost want each one of them to have a book…just because! No other specific reason…yeah, I’m a dork like that. Another couple that deserves their own book…Bonnie (Celeste’s best friend) and Garner (Adrian’s best friend) – tell me that isn’t genius in the making?!? Now, seriously…I would beg for that book…Bonnie is just a riot and her relationship history combined with her relationship with Garner…even though we only get to see glimpses of it is just brilliance.

‘“Anyway, how many of you have ever been in love?” Lots of hooting and hollering. “Yeah, well, this one is about the kind of love that compels you, that takes you on a ride like no other. The kind of love that wraps you tight in its embrace before it sinks its teeth info you.” Lots of catcalling and whistling. “Yet you gravitate toward its hold and scream with joy from its sweet torture, knowing you wouldn’t have it any other way.” The bar is a riot of emotion, and I’m blown away by my otherwise quiet leading man.’

What else did I love besides the characters…the plot and story line were original, I mean it’s the same ‘unrequited love’…we can’t be together and I’m protecting you so I can’t tell you why…but there were a few twists to it, so it wasn’t a rinse/lather/repeat scenario. The concept of her being older, him being younger was really different and I loved that! And I don’t know if you caught the whole last name thing…yeah, the family dynamics are another interesting aspect to the story. My absolutely favorite part was the epilogue…drum roll please…ADRIAN’S POV!!!…OMG, LOVED it. SO freaking much and we got to see them in the future, but oh my it just melted my HEA loving heart. But there was one thing that kind of made my eyebrow arch…there is a man, he’s involved with Celeste’s late husband – he plays the most minor of all roles I can ever think possible…and while I thought I could see his purpose, I kind of thought it was a little bit of a stretch and by the end of the book…it was the only thing that stuck out as odd to me.

‘His voice is as strong as his body as he proclaims, “I was never anyone else’s to have. You own me, Celeste. Always have. Always will.” My heart melts, yet my fear ignites. I can’t lose this. I can’t lose him. Pulling him to me, I devour him as he carries me into the bathroom.’

Clearly…I am over the moon for this book…I mean I didn’t even touch on the writing, which did it for me in every way possible. The style, the flow, the dialogue – OMG the banter back and forth was perfect! Just all in all, Everything I’ve Never Had completely exceeded my expectations. *Sigh* So there comes a time at the end of a book when I know I need to let go…the book is over and I must move on. I will move on, because I have to. But I can definitely say Celeste and Adrian will stay with me. I will never forget their story, their love and just them as characters.

View all my reviews

 

I am about as passionate about music as I am about books, so when I saw Lynetta’s playlist for Everything I’ve Never Had on Spotify, I couldn’t follow it fast enough!  And I have it on good authority 😉 that the song she listened to while writing Adrian’s POV scene was “A Drop in the Ocean” by Ron Pope.

 

 

 

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Since the dawn of time, Lynetta Halat has lived to read and has written innumerable stories and plays. A lover of good books, bad boys, and kickass tunes, she’d always dreamt of penning books that people could connect with and remember. She also has a secret penchant for wringing the emotions out of unsuspecting readers. She collects reader’s tears in much the same way that wine connoisseurs collect their favorite vintage.

Her first novel, Every Rose, was the perfect catalyst to launch her into the world of publishing, effectively burrowing her way into the hearts and minds of readers throughout the world. She has followed that up with an adult romance in Everything I’ve Never Had.

Her love of the English language prompted her to pursue a Master’s degree in English from Old Dominion University in Virginia, where she also minored in snark and interpretive dance. She lives somewhere on the Mississippi Gulf Coast with her adorable husband, two amazing sons, and two loveable dogs. When she’s not writing riveting storylines, she likes to focus on her macramé art and her scouring of eBay, where she buys locks of hair from her favorite rock stars, most especially Bret Michaels and Dave Grohl.