Title: Man of My Dreams
Author: Faith Andrews
Release Date: September 19, 2013
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Mia Murphy may be married to the man of her dreams. But the man in her dreams is the one that got away—her high school crush.
Mia’s stuck in a rut, just like every other stay-at-home mom, and the only thing saving her from her monotonous routine is her perfect husband, Declan. He’s gorgeous, he adores her, and the man stole her heart with his sexy singing voice. Mia feels like the luckiest girl in the world, until she discovers that Mr. Perfect is not Mr. Faithful. Mia is devastated. Everything she once believed about Declan and their marriage is now covered in a big cloud of doubt and regret. On impulse, she kicks the cheating bastard out, pushing them into a separation that could mean the end of the picture-perfect couple.
But when Mia receives an invitation to her high school reunion, she finds herself abandoning the present for the oh-so alluring pull of the past. Although her heart still belongs to her husband, inescapable thoughts of her crush, Noah, resurface. And ten years later, Noah isn’t afraid to make his move. When the build-up of fantasies and ‘what ifs’ comes to a head, sparks fly and it’s Mia’s turn to question if her marriage is everything she wants out of life. Searching for answers, Mia dives head first into dating Noah, falling further away from her husband and closer to her old flame.
But Declan’s not giving up so easily. Mia is his one and only and he’s not about to let another man win her heart.
March 10, 2007
After Party
What the hell am I doing? She’s married for Christ’s sake! This is so not me—I’m not the bad guy, I’ve never been the bad guy, but around Mia all I can think about are bad thoughts. I should’ve kept my distance at the reunion—sat with the guys from the team. But no, instead of doing the right thing, I act like a cocky son of a bitch and park myself right down next to the one woman I should probably stay away from. The beautiful woman who is about to get into my car so I can take her out—yeah, like on a date.
What the fuck am I doing?
When she hops in I can barely control my breathing. I’ve wanted this for a long time, since that night back in college, hell, maybe even before. But these circumstances just aren’t right and as awesome as it is to have her next to me, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m stealing something that belongs to someone else.
I pull out of the driveway and onto her street, watching her out of the corner of my eye. She’s fidgeting with those damn rings again! As if I need another reminder that we can’t be together.
I break the silence, complimenting her. “Your home is beautiful, Mia. I bet your family is equally beautiful. Perfect…just like you.”
Her head falls back against the seat and she closes her eyes. “Can you just drive?” she huffs.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” I didn’t mean to what? To flirt ruthlessly and get you alone? Um, yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what I meant to do.
“No, it’s not you. I’m stuck in my own head. Would you promise not to judge me if I told you something?”
“Of course not. Shoot.” I can’t imagine what she’s going to say, but whatever it is has her uneasy. She plays with her hands in her lap, biting the inside of her cheek. Poor girl is a bundle of nerves.
“This is all so…how is it possible that something so wrong can feel so right?”
Fuck! I’m gonna have to take her home. I don’t want her to do anything she’ll regret. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself for breaking up a happy marriage and a beautiful family.
Turning the corner, I pull over to the curb. Her eyes are brimming with tears. Shit, please don’t cry! “Mia, I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do. I know I’ve been forward tonight and you…”
“I know,” she hides her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Noah. I didn’t mean to lead you on. It’s just that my husband is away on business for a month. We were separated for a few months before that because of what he did. I’ve always had this crazy crush on you and seeing you, the whole reunion, the flirting…it all just came to a head.”
Hold the fuck up! Did she just say what I think she said? “Wait. Take a step back. What do mean ‘because of what he did’?”
I’m trying real hard not to see red as I listen to Mia tell me how her husband cheated on her. I’m not inside their marriage, and I know life isn’t some perfect fairytale, but how could someone cheat on Mia? And what a freaking game changer. I’m not saying this gives me permission to pounce on a vulnerable woman, but I can’t lie—the fact that they’re separated makes me feel a little less like the villain. You know what, screw the husband. She obviously needs to relax and unwind tonight. I can give her a good time—and it doesn’t have to be in that way. She’s a cool girl. We enjoy each other’s company, that’s what matters right now. Then again, it’s all sweet and innocent until someone mentions separation.
“What an asshole! Seriously, Mia. I can’t believe anyone would be so stupid as to take you for granted. Although come to think of it, that’s exactly what I did ten years ago.”
“What do you mean?” It’s like she’s ten thousand miles away until she speaks those words. She’s staring into my eyes, hanging on to every word I say.
It’s truth time. I can’t hold back now, not when what I choose to say obviously has an effect on what happens next. Lay it all out there, Noah. This is your last chance. “If I would have made a move that night at The Room, the night we were both back from college, maybe you wouldn’t be going through all of this right now. Who knows? It could have been you and me living in that house, raising two kids. And I certainly wouldn’t need some chick at a bar to remind me of what I had.”
Shit! Did I really just say that? She looks dumbfounded, but in a good way.
“Noah, I—I don’t even know what to say. This night has been…maybe you should just take me home?”
Okay, didn’t see that coming, but now’s not the time to be a pushy dick. “If that’s what you really want, just say the word.” I can’t hide my disappointment, but I have to give her the option because once we pull away from this curb there will be no turning back. I don’t want to take her to the after party at Tim Scotto’s house. I want to spend more time alone with her—this may be the only chance I’ll ever get.
“No! I don’t want to go home.” When she says the words I almost want to pull my fist into my chest and hiss out a “YES!” But I remain as cool as one can be when they’ve just been given the green light to do something they’ve dreamed of for so long.
“Would I be a real cad if I didn’t take you to the after party? I’m kind of enjoying talking to just you. We can grab a few drinks, or coffee…whatever you’re comfortable with.” Cad? Who the hell uses that word anymore? This woman has me in knots. But when One Week by Bare Naked Ladies starts up on the radio, I lean over and adjust the knob to make it louder. Nice ice breaker.
“Drinks are good.” She finally agrees. “You pick the place. Sorry for all the drama. Weren’t things so much simpler back then?”
“Hells, yeah. Now let’s see if you remember all the words to this song… Chickity China the Chinese chicken…” Don’t ask me how, but I remember ever damn word to this song. I bop my head up and down, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel.
She giggles, a contagious, melodious sound, and just like that we are carefree teenagers again. For now.
***
I never—there are so many things I’ve never done. One: I’ve never loved a girl. Two: I’ve never been with a married woman. And Three: I’ve never given up on chasing something I want. Right now I want Mia—so that pretty much means that if this night goes the way I want it to, the other two things on my “I never” list will be shot to shit.
“Drink up, buddy. You’re guilty!”
I look at her in disbelief. Her latest accusation in this game is that I’m guilty of leading a girl on with my lucky eraser. “What are you talking about? I never…” Realization sets in. Duh! I did in fact allow Mia to borrow said eraser for that test that time. I remember it—she looked so adorable; all nervous and panicky. So I did what any guy in my position would do and flirted—with the help of my favorite lucky charm. “I nearly forgot about that. Mia Page, you have a memory like an elephant.”
“You have no idea how the mind of a teenage girl works, do you? When you handed me that eraser it was like handing me an invitation to prom. I thought for sure it meant you liked me, that it was the beginning to something. Maybe we’d hang out which would turn into a date which would turn into my first kiss. But, alas, you left me high and dry. And the eraser was the last thing you gave me, besides of course, a broken heart.”
The beer must be getting to her because she’s a lot freer with her words and emotions now. Did I really not have a clue she was that into me back then? She was a knock-out, all the guys talked about her, had I known she was interested—woulda, coulda, shoulda. “Wow,” is all I can say for a minute. I lean back in my stool, suddenly interested in a total recount of all four years of our time at Westmont High. “First of all, when was your first kiss?”
She arches an eyebrow, sipping her beer from the bottle. “Billy Denker. November 1993.”
“Denks got a piece of you and I didn’t? What the hell?”
“Hey, don’t be mad at me. I wanted you to be the first, but you never made your move and I didn’t even know how to make a move. Sorry you lost your shot, Noah Matheson, but it’s either shit or get off the pot. You never seemed to get off the pot.”
What? Somehow Mia makes talking about shitting on a pot not only hilarious, but fucking adorable. “Damn, I’ve never heard that expression before. I’m so stealing it. And I’m sorry about the whole pot thing. I was distracted in school. Too much going on—my parents on my back about making good grades and getting a scholarship. I didn’t even date much, never even went out with a girl for longer than a few weeks. I was too into the game to care. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t notice you. I always thought you were beautiful. I wanted to kiss you too, but the timing was never right and I didn’t think it was fair to make any girl second to baseball. Especially not a girl like you. But you can’t say I didn’t try that night—two years after high school?”
“You mean that night at The Room?”
Yes, that night at The Room. The night that haunts me for being such a dumbass. I should’ve been more persistent. You don’t let a girl like Mia Page—or whatever her last name is now—slip away. Twice.
“I was already with Declan, Noah. The opportunity was gone.”
“Seems like a reoccurring theme with us.” This blows. I don’t want this night to end in regrets. For neither of us. Memories come flooding in—songs about staying up all night and living out our youth; phrases about savoring carefree moments. I wish I could bottle this night up and hold on to it for a little longer. Not worry about husbands or kids or being responsible.
My hand brushes up against hers as I reach for my beer. The heat that radiates off her soft skin is undeniable. Sparks would fly between us if we could just get our chance to connect. “God, I wish we could just stay in this moment, Mia.”
She lets her hand linger, but then quickly pulls it away, shaking her head. “This is bad—on so many levels—just so flipping bad.”
I swivel around in my chair, my hands aching to touch her. I rest them on her bare knees, so silky and smooth and—if she were mine, my hands would be inching higher, my intentions totally clear. But she’s not mine and I’m not even sure she ever can be. It’s so damn frustrating, but she needs to know. “Well to make bad worse, I have to admit this is the best date I’ve ever been on. Even if it’s technically not a date. And if it weren’t for your douche of a husband cheating on you and making one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever known second guess her whole life…I would have dropped you at home because I’m not the type to go after what’s taken. But Mia, you are irresistible…you deserve better than a husband who takes you for granted because of his own insecurities.”
God, I wish she’d stop looking at me like that. Like she’s dying for me to kiss her. I want to—so damn bad my tongue is restless in my own mouth, wanting to lick her lips, taste her. Finally, it’s too much to bear and I need to clear my head. Raking my hands through my hair, I stand up and groan, “Ugh! This is nuts! I need to use the head. I’ll be right back.”
I stalk off, adjusting my junk and scolding myself. I am a noble human being! I’m doing the right thing! I have to walk away even if it’s going to kill me! I’m pretty sure it’ll haunt me until the day I die, but when I come back from the bathroom, I’m taking her home and we’ll go our separate ways. I told her once to call me if things didn’t work out with her man. Maybe this time, if they don’t, she’ll actually follow through. But it has to be her decision.
When I’m done using the bathroom, I zip up, wash up, and man up. Time to say goodbye to the only woman who’s ever made me feel so hopeful and hopeless all in the same moment.
I sit back down, hand her the rest of her beer, and ready myself to end the evening. But something’s changed. I can’t help notice that Mia seems different in the three minutes I was gone. “Everything okay?”
She tilts her head back and drains half the bottle. “I hope so.”
I reach over and grab the beer out of her hand, reaching up to cup her face. “Mia. What’s wrong? What’s changed?”
“Can we go outside and get some fresh air?”
Time’s up. It’s all just too much for her. I can see it on her face. “Of course. You wanna go home? I’ll take you home.” I stand up from the stool and hand her her purse.
She pushes it into my chest, rejecting the offer. “No! This night isn’t over yet and I’m not nearly as drunk as I want to be. So we’re going out for fresh air and then we’re coming back in here and I’m ordering a round of shots.”
Huh? “Okay? Why shots? Shots are usually for celebrations.”
“Just take me outside. It’ll be easier to explain with a clear head.”
Explain what? I don’t ask; I’m not about to mess with a woman who’s probably as confused as I am right now so I just usher her outside, with my hand against the exposed skin on her back. I’ve been waiting for a reason to touch her there all night. I peek down lower, where her dress drapes open just above her perfect ass. Why do you have to be so gorgeous, Mia? I don’t want to say goodbye.
Once outside, she takes the lead, walking toward the parking lot. We find a quiet spot where we can be alone and lean up against the cold, brick wall. My thoughts are so scattered, my body so heated, that the chill of the cement is a refreshing distraction.
I lean my head back, staring up at the sky. I can’t look into her eyes again. I need to start distancing myself to get ready for the goodbye. Looking into those eyes will just make it that much harder. But I can sense how tense she is; it’s the first time all night that she’s this visibly jumpy. “What’s up, Mia? Why do things feel different all of a sudden?”
“Because they are.”
Without another word, she pushes off the wall, and her body falls against mine. Her hand pins my shoulder against the brick, her delicate hands caressing my face. No, Mia, please? I won’t be able to stop. Please don’t look at me like that. My thoughts have never been so conflicted before—wanting something and not wanting it all in the same breath. “Mia, please. Don’t. You’re drunk, you don’t want to do this.”
“I’m not drunk. And I do want this. I’ve wanted this for a long time and I can’t miss this chance again.” She inches closer staring at my lips. “I dream about you, Noah. A lot. That has to mean something. Maybe the dreams are there to remind me of what I felt. To encourage me not to give up on something I’ve always wanted.”
Jesus Christ. What man can resist that? She feels like she belongs in my arms and I don’t want to let her go. And now there’s no turning back. Her lips graze the skin on my neck, my pulse quickening and my dick hardening. She steps up on her tippy toes, resting her head on my shoulder. My fingers give in and tangle themselves in her long, blond hair. Do I do this?
“Mia?” My voice is so full of need, it drips with desire.
“Yes?” she whispers against my neck.
I’m a terrible person, but I don’t care. You can’t fight something like this, it’s just damn impossible. “I’m going to kiss you. Please tell me you won’t hate me if I kiss you.”
She leans back and starts to answer, “I won’t hate…”
And that’s all I have to hear. My mouth crashes onto hers, so hungry to taste her after all these years. Unable to control my hands, I grip chunks of her hair with one, and paw at the slinky material of her dress with the other. Her body grinds against mine as my tongue explores her mouth, slow at first and then more frantic to match the yearning that’s built up inside.
I cup her face with both hands, kissing the sides of her lips, before parting them with my tongue again. I gently suck on her tongue and she lets out a moan that encourages me to delve deeper, our connection becoming more intense.
God, I want her. I need her. I have to be inside her, but I can’t push. It has to stop somewhere. We’ll have to take it slow if I want to be able to do this ever again. I break free, only because I know it’s my only redemption. “We have to stop. Oh my God, you’re a married woman and all I want to do is bring you to my bed. We can’t…we…Shots! Let’s go do those shots.”
***
Shot after shot, after shot, and I’m still sober. Yes, sober. Not even alcohol can compete with the high I’m on right now. But that’s me…I have a high tolerance and a new mission. I want this woman to be mine—I need her to forget her past and to prove to her that I can be her future. And allowing her to get drunk—not necessarily the way to prove I have her best interests at heart.
“Come on, Mia. You’re like way past tipsy. I think it’s time to go home.”
Her face lights up and she bites her lower lip, standing from the stool. “Oh, good! Take me home,” she stammers, her eyes glassy slits. Will she even remember everything that happened between us tonight?
“You got it, hun.” I leave another tip for the bartender and hook Mia’s limp arm around my neck, steadying her. “You’re gonna have one nasty hangover.”
She giggles, her head flying back, her high-heeled feet losing their footing. I catch her from tumbling and our bodies join again. When her eyes meet mine, she’s smiling. It’s so fucking sexy when she looks at me like that. “Well, then you’ll just have to stay the night to make sure I’m okay.” She reaches up to plant a soft kiss on my lips and then slides her body back down mine until her feet are flat on the ground again.
Does she have any idea what she’s doing to me? This is torture—hari fucking kari. She’s drunk, she’s drunk, she’s drunk. I chant it over and over again in my head, hoping it will penetrate, but it doesn’t change how much I want her. This can’t just be a one night thing. I want my shot, my chance to be her man. This is it, dude. Shit or get off the pot, already. I look into her big brown eyes and I see a glimpse into everything I’ve been missing out on. I will not allow her to slip through my fingers again. Tonight, ten years past due, marks the beginning for us. I won’t have it any other way.
“Let’s just get you home, sweetheart,” I say, hoping I can live with myself for what I’m about to do.
Man of My Dreams by Faith Andrews
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
*ARC Given to Blog for Honest Review*
3.5 ‘If you love something let it go…’ Kisses
The paths we take in life shape our future. If you think about it, one choice, one action can forever affect the rest of your existence. I’m not trying to get too deep here but this book has really made me think about all this stuff. This isn’t your regular love triangle book. This is a different kind of contemporary romance…at least for me it was…let’s see if I can make sense of my thoughts.
Mia Page…or Mia Murphy…she is 28 years old, married to the ‘man of her dreams’ and living the dream life with two adorable girls. Life is great, right? I really liked Mia…but I feel bad for her. Do not get me wrong, she has had a great life…a very fulfilling life…but I don’t feel like she ever got a chance to really live. It’s basically always been her and Declan…her and Declan in college (except for her first year), her and Declan getting married, her and Declan having kids…there is absolutely nothing wrong with that…but it does bring up the question of ‘what if’?
‘This is not my life. And it’s not that I object. I’m happy. I’m in love. I have a great life. Okay, fine, I’m semi-happy, with my semi-eventful life. I know I shouldn’t be so ungrateful; there are people out there who would give a right arm for my life, but it’s just so…ordinary.’
Declan Murphy…oh Dec, I have a love/hate relationship with him. The things I loved about Declan…he can sing and play guitar (sorry…that’s just hot!), he’s incredibly romantic and sweet and he’s an incredible father. Deep down, I know Declan is a good guy. I know he loves Mia, I know he loves his family and I know he regrets the mistake he made more than anything in the world. And that does count for something. But there were a few strikes against Declan before we even got to the cheating aspect. He did and said some pretty dumb things! I think part of it was the fact that he met his ‘forever girl’ before he had a chance to experience anything else. It’s the same thing as Mia…possibly worse in my opinion. That’s a good thing and a bad thing, because she is all he ever wanted and needed and then some…but how do you really know that when you’ve never had anything to compare it to?
‘Declan becomes the center of attention again and continues, “That night I told her how much I wanted her. But now that she’s fulfilled every want I’ve ever had, it’s time for me to tell her just how much I need her.”’
Noah Matheson…I might get grief for this but up until the end, I was 100% Team Noah. I’m sorry this guy did nothing be amazing things from beginning to end. Should he have gone after Mia in high school, prolly…but his reasons and logic for not are valid and smart…and believe me, the man is trying to make up for some lost time as fast as he can. He is nothing but a gentleman to Mia…he’s kind, respectful, sweet…he made me swoon all over the place. I don’t feel like he got a fair shot in all of this and that sucks, because now there will always be that ‘what if’ factor for him. Dec may be the ‘man of her dreams’ but Noah is the man in her dreams…poor Noah… 🙁
‘Noah raises an eyebrow, channeling me to foxus on those smoldering green eyes. His lips curl into a satisfied smile. He speaks in a growl of a whisper. “Mia, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. I don’t want this night to end because tomorrow you go back to belonging to someone else.”’
Another person I need to address is Grace. She is another one that I had a love/hate relationship with…and I don’t think that has ever happened to me with a bestie in a book. Oh wow…there were so many moments between the two of them that reminded me of my H.S. best friend’s. I really did love their banter and their closeness. But…there were a few instances where she did some very ‘un-best friend like’ things. Did she have Mia’s best interests at heart…sure, but guess what? Mia has a mother…she doesn’t need another one. She needs a best friend to be there, support her and give advice but in the end…lets her do her own thing. I struggled with that because there were two specific instances where Grace did do something that made Mia (and me!) mad…it was never really addressed. You knew Mia was mad but we never saw her and Grace talk it out.
‘My head is spinning and it’s not just from the hangover. Grace makes valid points, and my heart is clearly torn between right, wrong and just following what it wants to do. There are so many scenarios to consider it’s not even funny. And in all of them someone gets hurt.’
So like I said, I was team Noah until the end…the ending is what won me over. I’m internally fighting with myself because what I’m about to say ‘could’ technically be a spoiler…but if I read it, I wouldn’t consider it one. To err on the side of caution…if you don’t want to risk it, stop reading now. 🙂 So, Declan finally did what he needed to do in my eyes to ‘redeem’ himself and make up for being an almost complete ass hat. Noah still gets the shitty end of the stick unfortunately, which does sting a little bit since I did love him…but Mia being happy is more important in my eyes. I don’t think I can stress this enough, the fact that I was team Noah shocked me…I am always the proponent for the original couple – ALWAYS…especially if there is a family involved – unless there are extenuating circumstances and the guy is a complete douche canoe of course. And Declan isn’t…at least not completely…he makes some pretty bad decisions and pisses me off, but clearly not beyond repair.
‘I wanted him to fight for me. Here he is fighting the only way he’s ever known how. They weren’t kidding when they said be careful what you wish for. I just wish I knew what the hell I’m going to do now. The work “torn” comes to mind, but torn doesn’t even beging to cover it. My heart feels like it’s being ripped apart and tugged in two different directions.’
This book spans a lot of time – we go from the early ‘90’s to present day, each chapter jumps back and forth, past/semi present (2006/2007) when all the drama starts happening with Mia and Declan. I didn’t mind it, because I liked getting Mia’s past but sometimes it was hard to remember and keep things straight. And also, let it be said for the record that I loved all the 90’s references. From the music to the movies to the TV shows – OMG…classic. Totally took me back in time because…that’s what I grew up with! I may not have been in high school the entire time, but I remember every reference…totally took me back. Faith has a very unique writing style…I liked her tone and it flowed very well. The dialogue was awesome, I loved her descriptions and it was very easy to read. I guess if I had one slight complaint it was a little slow for me. I was completely wrapped up in their emotions and what was happening but it was a different pace.
‘Life gets in the way of love sometimes.’
Am I happy with the ending…yes, but it was a little bittersweet. I need a book for my Noah though, and yes…he is mine, I have claimed him. He deserves an HEA…a fabulous one. *hint hint* 🙂 All in all, Man of My Dreams was a honest, genuine story about a couple that felt real to me…beautifully written and packed with honest, raw emotion. I can’t wait to see what Ms. Andrews comes up with next.
Man of My Dreams by Faith Andrews Book Trailer from SchmexyGirl Book Blog on Vimeo.
Click here for the Rafflecopter giveaway
Faith Andrews lives in New York where she is happily married to her high school sweetheart. They have two beautiful daughters and a furry Yorkie son, Rocco. If she isn’t listening to Mumford and Sons or busy being a Dance Mom, her nose is in a book or her laptop. She’s a sucker for a happily ever after and believes her characters are out there living one somewhere . . .
very nice