Title: Deliver (Deliver Book #1)
Author: Pam Godwin
Genre: Dark Contemporary Romance
Release Date: February 27, 2014
His name was Joshua Carter. Now it’s whatever she wants it to be.
She is a Deliverer.
She lures young men and delivers them to be sold. She delivers the strikes that enforce their obedience. She delivers the sexual training that determines their purchase price.
As long as she delivers, the arrangement that protects her family will hold.
Delivering is all she knows.
The one thing she can’t deliver is a captive from slavery.
Until him.
And her stubborn slave thinks he can deliver her…from herself.
Romantic Thriller
Stand Alone (no cliff-hanger). The sequel is coming Summer 2014.
Content warning: Graphic sex, violence, and psychological abuse. Age 18+ only.
On his back, muscles bared, bound, and stretched the full length of the box, he was an erotic picture. She was a criminal, and as ashamed as she was by that, the disgusting, fucked-up part of her anticipated spending the next ten weeks touching every inch of this man.
She dragged her gaze from his body to his face, and guilt slammed into her.
He stared up at her with so much pain in his eyes. “Don’t hurt my parents.”
Her gut twisted. She knew that pain, lived it every day. She leaned in, lips hovering a breath away, and repeated what Mr. E had said to her. “That’s up to you.”
Resolve hardened his face. She knew that emotion, too. Her time in the box was permanently carved in memory, which had made Van’s threats of returning her there an effective form of control in her training.
Tendrils of resentment coiled around her throat. To dwell on her or the boy’s predicament would only bring irresponsible hesitation. So she did what she always did to distract her thoughts.
She reached into the cold place inside her, searching for something yearning she could sing with dispassion. The beginning verses of “What It Is” by Kodaline fell past her lips and shivered through the room. She sang with an icy pitch as she removed a blindfold from the trunk by the box and tied it over his wide, glaring eyes.
To deprive smell, a swimmer’s nose plug went on next. He could breathe through his mouth, and the cracks in the box allowed airflow, but it wouldn’t feel that way to him once she shut the lid.
The skin on his face was hot and damp, the muscles beneath jerking against her fingers. She continued to sing as she cuffed headphones over his ears, plugged them into the tablet outside of the box, and activated the timer. Twenty minutes of heart-hammering silence.
The music in her voice strangled, stopped. Twenty minutes alone with his thoughts. Then the misery would begin.
“It’s just the way it is,” she murmured with an ache in her throat.
His body was motionless, but she didn’t miss the goosebumps creeping across his skin or the slight tremor in his cheeks. The sudden desire to comfort him drew her closer, bending her at the waist, until her mouth brushed his, softly, unjustly. His lips pulled away in a quiver that she felt throughout her body.
She straightened and rubbed her breastbone, unable to soothe the ache beneath it. “I’m so sorry.” A whisper, too low to pass through the earphones.
Then she closed the lid.
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
*ARC Given to Blog for Honest Review*
5++++ “Enjoy the fall, or nothing at all” “horny slut” “0054” “LIV” “freedom” Kisses
Pam Godwin holds the key to my heart and soul. I LOVED with unending passion Beneath the Burn (my first Pam Godwin book) and if I thought it couldn’t get any better I was so very wrong. Deliver pulled out all the stops…left me twisted up in knots, my heart in my throat…never knowing which way was right or wrong…and then took me to new levels of love, hope, happiness and joy. I’m going to attempt to pull myself together to write this review…but you’ve been warned – there will be endless amounts of babbling.
Liv Reed… the Deliverer…I don’t even know where to begin with all of the pieces that make up Liv…because after the way she has had to live her life for the past 7 years…that’s all there is left. Pieces. Fragments. All part of the same person but they can never live in harmony. She was abducted at 17…raped…tortured…conditioned into the slave that she needed to be and then crafted into this machine…this shell…that turns around and does what was done to her, on others. It’s a complete and utter mind fuck to even think that she is doing what has been done to her, causing others to suffer as she did…breaking them down…destroying them for someone else’s use…but things aren’t always as they appear. It’s hard to think that after all the torture she has gone through…being permanently physically and emotionally scared – literally, she has a scar on her face to remind her every day of the mistakes she’s made – that through all that Liv is a beautiful person. Through and through, to her core…it’s hard to wrap my brain around but from the outside in, Liv could not be more gorgeous in my eyes – scars and all. Liv has few things in her world that she loves…in fact, it’s just two things and those two precious things keep her functioning…fuel her to keep to her task and not make a mistake that could jeopardize their lives. But she has found the impossible…someone who can save her.
‘Liv wanted to be anywhere but in that car, on her way to uproot another life, facing the next ten weeks behind a whip and a mask. She trained them. And after?
They were dead to her. They had to be. Sometimes, it was the lies she told herself that kept her going. Believing anything else made her a danger to the captives she sold.’
Josh…Joshua Carter…boy…horny slut… kinky pain whore…whatever you want to call him, this man blew my mind with his amazingness. His power…his strength…his will…he is the perfect match for Liv. The day she saw Josh was the day she saved her own life. His entire life has been crafted for him…all his decisions made…he is basically living for his parents rather than himself. It’s not a bad life…he works the farm, plays football, goes to church and is going to school to become a preacher. That is all he has ever known and while he craves more, he settles because it’s what he needs to do. In the span of a few days his life is turned completely upside down by the woman who marked him as a slave. It’s not that she challenges what he believes but how he believes…as much as she has entrapped him, she has also freed him. There is so much to love about Josh…he’s gorgeous…black hair, piercing green eyes…beautiful body…intelligent…quick whited…funny…gorgeous in every possible way. But the most breathtaking part about Josh is his spirit…his ability to persevere and not give up. In the face of hopelessness, he never gave up. Josh is the perfect combination of physical and emotional strength…and Liv tests every ounce of it because he needs it…almost as much as she needs to be the one testing him.
‘His face creased in a smile. “Do you believe in meaningful coincidence?”
Absolutely not. “Why?”
“I play football and my jersey number is fifty-four. You name is L-I-V.”
What was his deal with the spelling? “And?”
He shrugged. “The Roman Numberal LIV is number fifty-four.”
Weird. Would she know these things if she’s had the freedom to earn her diploma or attend college? “I take it you believe coincidence is meaningful?”
“I think it’s plausible. There’s comfort in believing there are things in the universe that defy the odds, that something beyond common sense can pivot into place and fill an inner need.” He angled his head to glance at her, eyebrows bunching curiously, perhaps studying her face. He wouldn’t find anything meaningful there. He returned his attention to the road. “What do you think?”
The focus of the conversation was expected for a boy pursuing a career in ministry. Still, she scrambled for an answer and settled on the truth. “Coincidence is nothing more than cause and effect. You jump. You fall.” He unwittingly jumped from his path and fallen onto someone else’s. What she had planned for him would challenge his notions of coincidence and every other damned thing in his life.’
Now…this book is not a love triangle…but I do have to mention another pretty crucial character. Van Quiso. Van is Liv’s abductor…her tormentor…and at the same time her salvation, in a sense. I had this really mind bending moment at one point because the realization hit me…that Van, in his own twisted way, saves Liv’s life. It’s hard to explain without spoilers…but trust me…while his actions to begin with are vile and horrible…he turned Liv into a slave…he raped her…beat her…stole her life from her…he’s twisted and sick and really fucked up…but in the only way he knows how…he loves her. So he broke the rules…and because of his actions…she is actually saved from the fate that he was training her for. He fell in love with her and I think in some dark way, even with everything Van did to her, Liv does love him. So me and my twisted little head got to thinking…what if Liv had been sold and become a slave…I can’t even imagine the life she would have had – not that being a deliverer is sunshine and roses but…damn! See…total mindfuck. I both hate and love Van for what he did…because he may have completely changed the course of Liv’s life…but at the same time, he’s part of the cause of what brought Liv and Josh together.
‘Clearly, she was no longer steering this…whatever this was. Not that she’d ever really gained control of him. The thought both petrified and thrilled her, a testament to how wildly her world was tilting on end. She knew she should order him to strip and kneel and kiss her feet. She also knew if she peeled away the layers of bullshit around her heart, she’d find a hopeful girl who wanted him stubborn and fierce and whole, exactly as he was.’
The relationship between Liv and Josh is built on so many different layers…there is so much that makes them who they are. Everything that happens between them from beginning to end is very calculated and all driven with a specific purpose…how and why she found him…why she picked him…all of the elements that make Josh who he is…it blows my mind how all the little details fell into place because they are so calculated and meaningful. Their relationship develops throughout the book…as captor & slave…mistress & boy…lovers…given the time span that covers the book, if I think about it rationally it seems quick but it completely works. Understanding their logic and thought process about each other is also what blows me away…there is no ‘Stockholm syndrome’ here…they have a 100%-genuine-no-holds-barred connection…a deep appreciation for every nuisance of the other, a captivating hold that just encased my heart and sucked me in right along with them. Basically…they blew me away – end of story.
‘He shook his head. “You watched me for weeks and—”
“I knew.” Her stomach clenched, conflicted and lost. “I knew you weren’t the right choice for this.” She met his eyes and found her way. “You were the right choice for me. When I saw you, I couldn’t walk away.”
A smile tipped the side of his mouth. “There’s my girl, honest and open. Was that so hard?”’
Pam’s way with words literally astounds me…takes my breath away…it’s not flowery or fluffy but has this elegance and grace about it…and I say this about a book that has floggers, chains and slaves. I mean there are a million different ways to word a sentence and she just finds a way to make it sound like angels are whispering to me in my ear…I don’t know how else to describe it. And as if her genius stops there, no she has to go and create characters that expel such a range of emotions out of me…Liv who had me all over the map – I was confused, I felt sorry for her, I was mad at her, she broke my heart, I loved her…it was a cacophony of feelings! And Josh…good Lord, the perfection that is Josh…I love every ounce of him and have plans to make him all mine. Even Van…I needed to hate him, despise him, loathe him…and I did…but then at the very end…all bets were off and I was left…liking him…? Maybe? I dunno…jury is still out on that one, but just when you think you’ve made your mind up about a character, then Pam goes and throws in a surprise you didn’t see coming and I’m left with my mouth wide open, scratching my head, wondering what the actual fuck she just did to me and why I liked it so much. Oh…and that’s not all…it gets better.
‘Her shoulders rose, and her eyes sparked. “Yes, I thought of you. So much so I made a covenant with my heart to stop cutting you with its jagged, damaged pieces.” She spat the words, her voice growing louder, her eyes watering. “Don’t you see how wrong I am? I’m a kidnapper. A murderer. A fucking monster.”
“I see all of you.” He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to her temple. “I claim every jagged piece of you.”
She shoved at his chest, tears escaping, screaming, “I freed you. For you.”
His feet dug in, his arms caging her against the door. He put his face in hers and stared directly into her eyes. “And I will free you. From you.”’
This book may go down in history as the most unpredictable book ever. Never saw one second of it coming. There is no way to…absolutely none…and it’s a mastermind wrapped in genius and dipped in brilliance. Not one tiny tid bit is left uncovered…every question is answered and every answer is magnificent. And it’s one of those thing that if you go back and think about it…the clues were there all along, but you automatically believe what you think is logical. When I was going back over my highlights – which by the way are bordering on ridiculous…this might be one of the most highlighted books I own – and I was like Oh-em-gee!!! Why didn’t I see it?!?! I know why…because I am not a genius and Pam is.
“I’m not going anywhere without you.” He touched a knuckle under her chine and raised it. “The worst is behind us. It’s just you and me. Everything else is trivial. Got it?”
Confession Time – I always want more…even if the book ends perfectly, which Deliver totally did…I have attachment issues. I can’t help it – I never want to let go and I do not want to be done with this book. So…Pam went ahead and made my year by writing a sequel to Deliver… Vanquish!!! WOOOO!!! If you can’t find me I will be counting down the days until July arrives. I’m in love with how much I loved this book…the phenomenal writing…the amazing characters…the jaw-dropping plot…from beginning to end…this book was perfection. Absolutely hands down my favorite book for 2014…the bar for awesomeness has been set!
**I have to thank Jack Alexander Photography for allowing me to use his photographs of his model, Beccy Cooper. She is gorgeous and the moment I saw her, I couldn’t imagine anyone else as Liv. He kind of made my life when he allowed me to use his pictures for my graphics – thank you again Jack!!! All of his photo’s are beautiful – go check him out! He also has a Facebook Page where I was drooling over all his breathtaking pictures.**
Pam Godwin lives in the Midwest with her husband, their two children, and a foulmouthed parrot. When she ran away, she traveled fourteen countries across five continents, attended three universities, and married the vocalist of her favorite rock band.
Java, tobacco, and dark romance novels are her favorite indulgences, and might be considered more unhealthy than her aversion to sleeping, eating meat, and dolls with blinking eyes.
Holy WOW! This is THE BEST review ever. Thank you so damned much!!!!
my computer and phone are acting up, pls excuse copy, paste