A new novel by the USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Breathing Series . . .
What if you had a second chance to meet someone for the first time?
Cal Logan is shocked to see Nicole Bentley sitting across from him at a coffee shop thousands of miles from their hometown. After all, no one has seen or heard from her since they graduated over a year ago.
Except this girl isn’t Nicole.
She looks exactly like Cal’s shy childhood crush, but her name is Nyelle Preston and she has no idea who he is. This girl is impulsive and daring, her passion for life infectious. The complete opposite of Nicole. Cal finds himself utterly fascinated-and falling hard. But Nyelle is also extremely secretive. And the closer he comes to finding out what she’s hiding, the less he wants to know.
When the secrets from the past and present collide, one thing becomes clear: Nothing is what it seems.
Oh Cal…he does it for me every time…
Keep reading to see the full Love Note!
Happy Valentine’s Day, Nyelle!
You know I’m not the best with the whole romance thing. It usually ends…deflated. So I’ll leave the crazy plans to you. Whether it’s shooting fireworks off your roof while eating ice cream, a slip-n-slide on whipped cream down the dorm hallway, classic rock karaoke in a nursing home (just don’t make me take my clothes off in the snow again…well, only if there’s a fire and a sleeping bag involved.) Whatever it is, I’m in, because I’ll be with you. The impulsive and unexpected girl I love, who is unbelievably beautiful inside and out. One of my best friends. The girl I never want to live without. I love you, Nyelle, for every reason that makes you…you.
Love, Cal
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
*ARC Given to Blog for Honest Review*
4 “butterfly” “shooting star” “wish” “I trust you.” ‘I’m on fire.’ Kisses
Have you ever read a book where you had absolutely no idea what was going to happen next…had so many questions it was ridiculous…and yet still loved every single solitary moment while reading it? Well…that just happened to me. What If is like a puzzle dipped in an enigma and wrapped in riddle…written beautifully and with insanely memorable characters and a unforgettably emotional story line. It was a crazy, intense roller coaster but it truly touched my heart.
Cal Logan…sweet, loving Cal…I was completely invested in anything and everything involving this boy. He’s a genuinely good, kind guy…even though he’s a bit of a hot mess in the relationship department, but that never made me dislike him because I never felt like his intentions were bad. He has his priorities…family, friends, school…he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life but what 20 year old really does. Cal is a pretty basic, simple guy…but I think that’s what I liked most about him, he’s easy going, charming, funny – I could list his loveable qualities for hours. He’s a little closed off emotionally but once I found out why, it made total sense. The one thing I always knew about Cal was where his heart was…and it’s plain as day it has always belonged to a certain girl with wavy brown hair.
“Are you sure you didn’t do anything to her?” “I swear,” I answer, then add after a moment of thought, “I guess I wasn’t who she wanted me to be.” “Are we ever?”
Nyelle Preston…oh boy…my feelings on Nyelle are a little complicated. I was unsure of her at first…it was hard for me to connect because well…she’s a little unpredictable. It’s hard to develop an emotional connection with a character who you’re not sure if they’re flighty or have mental problems…but neither is the case for Nyelle. Everything she said and did was very calculated and actually quite brilliant when I think back on it. It takes a lot of bravery and heart to do what she does. On the outside, she’s a beautiful, funny, carefree girl but…I truly never knew what she was going to say or do next…which was both fun and scary. I was very cautious about Nyelle because she was like a loose cannon and I was worried about the mess she would leave in her wake (a.k.a how it was going to affect Cal). Nyelle was a lovely surprise…I didn’t expect to fall in love with her as much as I did.
‘“Okay,” Nyelle says, scrunching her face in thought. “What if I had been a better liar?” I laugh. Isn’t that what she’s doing right now? “You regret not being able to lie?” “What can I say?” Nyelle smiles. “I can keep a promise for an eternity, but don’t ask me to lie. I will avoid having to lie to a person like you avoid your exes.” Wow, I mouth. “I promise to never ask you to lie for me.” I just wish she’d stop lying to me.’
Cal and Nyelle have a very unique relationship…it’s hard to really describe because for most of the book it’s not a romantic relationship…it’s a friendship. Because of how Nyelle is…we never know if Cal is going to see her the same day…week…month, who knows! She’s like the wind! But the moments that I experienced with them were incredibly special and memorable…any sane guy probably would have run in the other direction, but that was never going to happen…Cal is too invested in Nyelle, now that he has her back in his life. He knows who she was…and he loved her then and he’s learning who she is now…and falling for her in a whole new way which was absolutely awesome for me…breathtaking…beyond words. But this story is more than a romance…there is a deeper story and meaning…it’s about friendship and the love and trust two people can establish. It’s also more than just about Nicole and Cal…it’s about Rae and Richelle too…the friendship and bond that these four created when they were younger and how it morphed and forever changed their lives forever.
‘A light streaks across the sky. “Make a wish,” I lean over and whisper. Nyelle closes her eyes, a slow smile emerging. I’m about to ask what she wants to do over again when her hand slips into mine and she threads our fingers together. Warmth rushes up my arm. I squeeze her hand lightly and take in the starlight reflecting in her eyes as she says quietly, “I wished for a butterfly.”’
Nicole, Cal, Rae and Richelle…like the four musketeers of their neighborhood…it’s hard not to remember their stories of them growing up and not smile. We don’t get every story of their past…but the pieces we do get are what’s important…not all of them are good but I loved them all. For me they were little gemstones that really added an extra layer onto these characters…gave me insight as to who they were…I cannot imagine the plot without them. The way What If was written was very specific and absolutely perfect for the way the story unfolds. It’s not the first time I’ve read alternating past and present but this was different. All of the present was written from Cal’s POV…while the past alternated between Nicole and Richelle, which was another thing I didn’t totally understand the need for until about half way, but it all makes sense. That was another thing…with as many questions and raised eyebrows as this book gave me, I was totally taken aback at how logical everything was, once everything was revealed. It’s very precise and looking back, the clues and facts are there…the detail of it really blew me away.
“Cal?” “Yeah,” I respond, unable to see her beside me. “Have you ever been in love?” There’s a silence for a moment. I’m not exactly prepared for the question. “No. Have you?” “No. I wonder what it’s like.” Her voice sounds like an echo in the stillness. “I think it will be like falling backward in the dark. Terrifying. Exhilarating. Having to trust that there’ll be someone there to catch you.”
God this story is so intricate and I don’t wanna ruin anything because the impact at the end is really everything. It’s not that you have to wait till the very end to get any answers…we get pieces here and there but it does take the last 10% for it to finally all click. It was worth every second of it, and I can’t imagine it coming together any other way…I do wish there had been a bit more closure on certain aspects…like with Nyelle’s parents, and little minor things, but it didn’t take away my enjoyment of the story. There were little things that I picked up on and figured out but I really and truly had no idea how things were going to turn out until the very end…and I had no idea how it was going to hit me emotionally. I was a bit of a mess…I cried, I was a little angry and frustrated with the whole situation – it was one of those things where you really can’t be mad at anyone or anything, but you’re still filled with the emotion and…there it is. But at the same time…I got it…I didn’t have to like it, I just hurt for Cal and Rae…and also Nyelle…there was just no getting out of the pain of what was happening. It hit me after a little while what Nyelle had to go through…the decisions she had to make…and it hit me. All her actions…her behavior…the way she was – it finally sunk in and any previous doubts or concerns I had ever had about her vanished and I felt dumb for even having them in the first place.
“You’re beautiful,” slips out instead. Her body tenses. “Don’t hurt me,” I plead, suddenly afraid of being maimed. “But I think you deserve to know, and I want to be the one to tell you. And it’s not just your insanely blue eyes, or unbelievably soft mouth, or painfully perfect body.” Her mouth pops open, stunned. Maybe that wasn’t the best way to say it. “You’re beautiful because you don’t care if you are. I think I understand why you get so angry when you’re judged for how you look. Hell, it’s not your fault you’re gorgeous. Blame genetics.” Nyelle continues to stare at me, speechless. “But what is your fault is who you are underneath all that. You can hide under clothes that are too big, or not put any effort into your appearance, but you’re beautiful regardless. And I’m glad I get to see who you really are. Not just the naked version of you, which…has changed me…forever – ” Nyelle’s eyes narrow. I laugh, quickly continuing before I lose momentum – or a body part. “But the caring, thoughtful, selfless, and spontaneous side of you. To watch you live is breathtaking. You live a life filled with possibilities. A life most people miss out on. So yes, Nyelle, even if I couldn’t see you, I’d still be attracted to you.”
What If is a brilliant standalone…the ending is perfect for the characters, I mean…at least I am content, but I can’t lie that I’m not a little hopeful for the possibility of more. OMG…I would give anything to have What If from Nyelle’s POV, holy cow would that be amazing! A crazy bookworm can dream, can’t she? 🙂 What If was a beautiful…powerful…deep…and moving story that I will never forget.
Optimism seeps from every pore of my body. I truly believe that what’s supposed to happen… will! In that regard, I don’t know how to give up; it’s not part of my biological make up.
I’m a passionate (and some would say, overly enthusiastic) person. I learn by doing (and have been burned more times that I’d like to admit), but I will always throw my entire self into whatever I do – fail or succeed.
I think this is evident when I write, leaving nothing behind and spilling it all out on the pages. I give it all to my readers – love it or hate it.
The path I’m on is very often my own, veering off the beaten path at the sight of something more interesting or captivating, getting caught in the vines and thorns in order to experience the beauty and intrigue others often pass by. And I always meet the most interesting people along the way…
Healthcliff is the book boyfriend that can be my Valentine this year.
Thanks for the giveaway. This looks like an interesting read for Valentines.