*~*No Apologies by Sybil Bartel Blog Tour – Excerpt, Review & Giveaway*~*

Never apologizeHard-edged rocker Graham Allen has it all. He’s flush with cash from playing bass in a band by night and restoring classic cars by day. And there are plenty of women willing to share his bed for a night, complication-free. Perfect, because if there’s anything he learned from his past, it was to never get attached—to anything. So when bartender Carly Sullivan flashes her innocent smile, Graham isn’t prepared for what happens next.

Never fall in love

Two rules, that’s all Graham has—never apologize and never fall in love. He knows Carly is everything he should avoid. Cheerful and sweet, she has “relationship” written all over her. But Graham can’t stay away from her probing questions and concerned blue eyes.

When Graham discovers Carly is hiding a crushing secret, he’s prepared to risk it all. Until in one single moment, everything changes and Graham’s past threatens to collide with his future. His life is crumbling down around him, and soon no apology in the world can save him.

He should’ve known to walk away.

I didn’t stop to think about what I was doing. I leaned down and whispered in her ear. “You’re beautiful.”

My nose ran along her cheek. Her breath touched my face, sweet and warm, and I brushed my lips across hers. I kissed her jaw, below her ear, my thumb caressing the soft skin of her cheek. I tried to move slow, but with every breath I felt my restraint bleed away. I found her lips again and moaned. Releasing her hand, I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her to my chest. I kissed her like I needed her more than I needed my next breath.

Everything stopped but the feel of this fragile bird coming apart in my arms as her body melted against mine. The low seductive sound in her throat, the grip of her hands on my arms, the flutter of her heartbeat in my ears, it fueled something deep.

Not thinking, used to getting what I wanted, used to a different type of woman, I spun us around and lifted her onto the counter. Pulling her hips to mine, my hands snaked under her thighs and brought her legs around my waist. I pushed into her, straining to get closer despite our clothes.

Too late, I realized I’d gone too far.

No Apologies by Sybil Bartel

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

*ARC Given to Blog for Honest Review*

4 “Hummingbird” “count to ten” “You and me” Kisses

Oh-my-wow. I didn’t know what to really expect when I opened up No Appologies…I knew he was a rock star…and I do love my rock stars…but I was ready for a fun ride. The angst-filled amazingness that just shook me to my core was a whole lotta awesome that I didn’t know to prepare myself for! Damn…Mr. Allen just kicked my butt and I liked it. Get ready for a babble-filled review, cause I’ve got lots to say!

Graham Allen…is it possible to really love someone and then equally want to smack them upside the head? Not bruise him or anything…just knock some sense into his thick skull…if that’s what I could do to Graham, I would totally do it. Graham is one of those hate-turns-to-love book boyfriends…he’s a hot mess…but he does have some redeeming qualities. He’s hot in a bad ass kinda way…shaved head, 6’2” (yum!), tatt’s and muscles, so alpha it made me weak in the knees, permanent scowl on his face…he’s rugged and just has a don’t-fuck-with-me attitude. And it’s hot! He’s also incredibly successful, despite his appearance and the attitude he pulls off…he’s got a successful mechanic shop, he’s part owner in a club and he’s part of a pretty well-known band. The dude isn’t hurting for money and it’s not like he works or tries very hard…he’s just lucky enough to have found things he’s good at…but at least he finally has something good going on in his life, after the shit beginning he had. Graham is a sad, tragic soul. Honestly…his past broke my heart…no child should have to go through what he did or suffer for as long as he did and every second that we are shown more about his past, the more I wanted him to break through and get to a healing point in his life, cause he deserved for once to be happy. And you could clearly see that his Hummingbird gave him that.

“Well, besides the hot bass player, bad boy, I’m-in-a-band charm, I think you’re moody and distant on purpose. You push people away so you can’t get disappointed or hurt. If you have no attachments, there’s nothing to risk. Am I right?” Even though she asked, the way she smiled told me she thought she was.
I ignored her bull’s-eye. “I’m hot?”

Carly Sullivan…if there was anyone carved out of the universe that is perfect for Graham Allen…it’s Carly. His Hummingbird…I can’t even tell you the things that happened to my heart when he calls her that…just a whole other level of amazing. Carly is bright…pure…innocent…sweet…kind…caring…loving…sounds like the polar opposite to Graham, right? And yet at the same time, she is just like him…in her own way she is just as fucked up as Graham is…she has her own scars…and they run deep. My heart broke for her as much as it did for Graham because even despite her past, you could see her desire to get past it…she didn’t want to be held back…she truly wanted to love and care for Graham. Even though she knew he was not good for her, I felt with every fiber of my being her longing to overcome both of their pasts and be together. I loved Carly’s spirit…she’s a fabulous combination of fun and playful with a little bit of sass and spunk thrown in. She doesn’t let Graham get away with shit and I loved her to pieces for it. She saw through his bravado and truly understood who he was and it was absolutely beautiful.

‘I wanted Carly. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted a woman.
Once, just once, I wanted to be good enough to have that kind of innocence under me, wanting me, consuming me.’

Oh my inner angst whore could not get enough of this book…like absolutely fabulous constant angst through the entire book and I ate up every second of it. It takes a minute to get used to who Graham is…I loved that this book is told completely from his POV cause he truly is a fascinating character, but adapting to Graham’s personality takes…patience. Once you have the whole picture…it clicks, it’s logical and I can’t say I blame him…but it hurt my heart. For him. The only glimmers of hope through this entire book are when he and Carly are together. The change in Graham is not overnight…and trust me, he fights it with every ounce of strength in him…but not even he can deny the way Carly makes him feel. He tries to do what is best for her…which was actually pretty admirable, considering we’re dealing with a grade A ass hole who could normally give two shits about most of the women he surrounds himself with…so every time you saw the ‘Nice Graham’ come out…it was like Christmas morning. I loved that they developed a friendship first…they had to…you’re dealing with two people who have never been in relationship before – it’s a shock and neither one knows what to do with the fact that they want to be with someone else. It’s a learning experience…but their honesty and openness with each other completely melted my heart. I adored what they did for each other and how they were together…separately they were just suffering and together, they healed each other.

‘Her expression grew serious and her smile faded. “I can’t…I mean, I don’t.” Her hand gestured between us. She inhaled sharply, then spoke in a rush. “This won’t ever go further.”
My heart shattered. Not because she was telling me she was off-limits but because she had to, for her, for her self preservation. I got it. I didn’t want to, but Jesus, I got it. This girl deserved happiness. I was never gonna be that for her. I ran the back of my fingers across her cheek, wishing I could pull her into my arms. “I know.”
“But I like you, Graham Allen,” she whispered.
I didn’t see that coming. I pushed aside what I wanted to say and said what I should. “I’m not good enough for you, Carly Sullivan.” And that was the sad fucking truth.’

In the very beginning, the first chapter starts out in Spring…it’s not a super long chapter but I was trying to figure everyone out…then chapter two bounces to Winter…I was honestly a little shocked! I couldn’t understand why we would skip months of time to build the story – it just seemed like a lot to miss out on…then I figured out why – Graham. Graham takes…time, in most of the things that he does. He needs to do things at his own pace…and it’s not like he’s just meeting Carly, so I got it in the end, but that was just my first ‘Wait a minute!’ moment. Not that I had a lot of those…I mean, I struggled with the first part of the book…clearly I got over that 10 fold, but getting into the flow was a little rough…and that’s mainly because of one man. Graham is a tough character to be in his POV…he’s really fucked up and broken…and being in his head, dealing with his self-destructive moments and his really broken views of himself and life was…hard. But that’s one of the many reasons why I loved him so much with Carly…he was an entirely different person around her, a better person – like there was the possibility for a better Graham when he was around her. It gave me hope.

‘“Why do you put yourself down?”
“Don’t,” I warned. She wasn’t going to turn this around. I wouldn’t let her.
“Don’t what? Care about you? Want you to think you’re capable of more than just sharing small pieces of yourself?”
Anger began to seep in. “You don’t know me,” I said low and threateningly.
“I want to know you. I’ve wanted to know you since the first time I saw you play. I look at you and I see…” She stopped and stared at me like she needed permission.
Fists clenched, heart pounding, I wanted to know what she saw. God, I wanted to know. And I didn’t. Air trapped in my lungs, I hated that she had the upper hand right now. Damn it. Only one way out, I inclined my head.
Looking away, she inhaled and held it. Then in a rush, she brought her eyes back to mine, exhaled and spoke. “I see something like me.”
Fuck.’

Okay…so there was a point – 87% exactly where I had a very violent reaction to what happened. It was the ‘turning point’ if you will…I was over the moon in love with what Graham was doing, I was holding my breath, I was praying to every book god in the universe that this wasn’t going to be another soul crushing experience…and then something happened. It was like the rug was pulled out from under me and I thought FUCK!!! It’s not going to happen. But…I may have overacted…a little bit. Jumped to conclusions if you will – but in my defense…I was dying for them to be together, my heart was so in it, it was almost ridiculous. I promise you, for all the frustrating and anger-inducing emotions that are in the first third of the book, the last two thirds are packed with every emotion that I kill for. So much angst and tension…it was glorious. And the good parts…the blissful moments when Carly and Graham are actually happy…you have no idea.

‘Everything disappeared except her. The feel of her breath on my skin, her lips, her mouth, her tongue, I was desperate for her. She crawled up my body with uncontained need. Her scent all around, I wanted her. This was what I’d always wanted. Her, two steps past sanity, the line between desire and obsession gone, crazy, break-a-person frantic. For me.’

This is an amazing standalone…I will always want more from Carly and Graham, but their story is complete…perfect…I couldn’t have asked for a better ending. No Apologies is an angst lovers dream filled with a sexy alpha man whore and a heroine that’s impossible not to love – I completely enjoyed the journey with Graham and Carly.

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Sybil grew up in Northern California with her head in a book and her feet in the sand. She used to dream of becoming a painter but the heady scent of libraries with their shelves full of books about wistful summer days and first loves drew her into the world of storytelling. Her true literary love is the New Adult genre but really, any story about a love so desperately wrong and impossibly beautiful, makes her swoon.

Sybil now resides in Southern Florida and while she doesn’t get to read as much as she likes, she still buries her toes in the sand. If she’s not writing or fighting to contain the banana plantation in her backyard, you can find her spending time with her handsomely tattooed husband, her brilliantly practical son and a mischievous miniature boxer who stole her heart.