Mabel Armstrong is on the verge of giving up. But just when things feel bleakest, there seems to be a shift in the universe. People come out of the woodwork. Her ex won’t leave her alone. An old friend finally tries to become more. Even the cute guy at the coffee shop starts paying extra attention.

Maybe Maby is a heartbreaking, and at times, hilarious story about coping with loss, finding love in New York, and learning to recognize hope in the middle of it all.

I take off running with him not far behind. When we reach the stairs, he swoops me up, takes the stairs two at a time, and tosses me on the bed. He stares down at me.
“Now what?” he asks.
“Let’s not sleep with our clothes on tonight.”
His shirt is over his head with one yank from the back. I lean up on my elbows to watch.
“Your turn,” he says.
“Your pants are still on.”
He unbuttons them slowly and takes his sweet time pulling them down. His thumb loops under the waistband of his boxer briefs and my mouth waters waiting for him to take them off. He says something, but I don’t hear any of it.
“What?” I ask.
“I said—are you sure?” He puts his hand over his mouth and looks at me, his eyes narrowing. After a long pause, he says, without conceit: “When we make love, it’s gonna change things. I want to know if you’re ready for that before we do.”
I move until I’m on my knees in front of him. “Things have already changed for me. I’m ready … if you are.”
He grins and pulls my dress over my head. “Haven’t you been hearing me? I’ve been ready for you for a long time, Maby Armstrong.”
His hands travel down my chest and he unhooks my bra, sucking in a breath when it falls to the ground. He smiles at my yellow thong with black skulls.
“You’re so edgy,” he smirks, getting on his knees while he pulls them off. He looks up at me. “I plan to spend a lot of time in this general vicinity.” He waves his hand over the area from my lips to my thighs. “And especially here,” he whispers, pulling me into his mouth.
I hold onto his hair for dear life. I nearly fall back on the bed, but his hands are gripped on both cheeks, keeping my buns of nothing close to steel in place.

Maybe Maby by Willow Aster

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

*ARC Given to Blog for Honest Review*

4 “best night of my life” “only room for one weirdo” Kisses

Every time I read another Willow Aster book, I walk away from it a little bit changed.  The characters and relationships she creates in each of her books is truly amazing and they touch me in ways I never even considered…it’s a completely unique experience each time…and I can’t help but love it.  Maybe Maby surprised me in a lot of ways… good surprises of course…but it was definitely a shift from the norm.

Mabel Armstrong…my dear sweet bat shit crazy Maby.  I can say that because I love her…I don’t mean it in a bad way, but Maby never really hides her mental disease.  It’s just kind of like breathing or blinking…she doesn’t have to do much, it’s just a part of who she has always been.  But, sadly Maby is in a downward spiral and there isn’t a lot of positive in her future.  Her mom passed away…her long-term boyfriend Dalton cheated on her…her best friend and pretty much all of her friends abandoned her (which has a lot to do with the ex)…she hates her job…so…like I said, not a whole heck of a lot of sunshine and roses goin on in Maby’s world.  Plus then she’s going the OCD and depression which is getting to an all time high level with the recent events in her life and you’ve got a recipe for suck.  I felt like it was two steps forward, twenty-two steps back and it broke my heart every time.  The few times I felt like I saw Maby’s true potential was when she had the influence of a certain barista with amazing brown eyes.

     ‘Have you ever noticed how the universe seems to have it out for you?  Or maybe sometimes it’s trying to help.  I’m not sure.  I do believe in God, but I also believe there are other spirits contributing, making the universe, as a whole, a very confusing place.’    

Coen Brady…oh there is a special place in heaven for guys like Coen Brady, he’s his own special brand of perfection.  He’s kind and smart…patient and sweet…generous and loving…he goes above and beyond in every way he can for Maby.  When I say patient…I mean, think of the most patient man in the world – multiply it by a million and you might have 10% of the patience that Coen has.  Job has nothing on Coen.  My favorite parts about Coen (besides…everything) was the fact that he’s just a regular guy…a regularly awesome, fantastic, stupendous guy – but he’s not alpha…he’s not loaded…he doesn’t have a horrible past with millions of secrets that he’s hiding…he’s just himself.  Loveable…perfect…amazing.  Honestly…I feel like he and Maby kinda balance each other out in the crazy department…he’s got his little quirks and stuff (really they only make him cuter) but the main thing is…he is specifically crazy about her.  And I couldn’t get enough of it.

     ‘He lifts his wine glass.  “I kissed a girl I’ve wanted to know for a long time, and in a single moment, we were instantly in sync.  The stars and planets aligned.  I’ve never had a first kiss that was so…perfect.”
We clink glasses.
“Me either,” I admit.
“Our very own harmonic convergence, if you will,” he says, as he kisses me.  A light kiss, but my heart drops to the ground just the same.  With a soft groan, he stops.  “I don’t think it’s possible for us to have a bad kiss.”
“We can keep trying, it you’d like,” I tease.’    

Saul Mayes…I feel like I have to mention Saul because…well, for the first third of the book, he was all I knew.  He’s Maby’s ex-boyfriends friend and he became Maby’s best friend (remember…I mentioned the best friend that ditched her – he’s the one)…they developed a strong relationship aside from Dalton and…that kind of crossed a line when it shouldn’t have.  Neither of them handled it properly and then things went to shit for Maby, which made the situation even more complicated and honestly…while I didn’t like what Saul did, I couldn’t ignore the fact that he was one of the few constants in Maby’s life.  A couple that has history is my kryptonite and Maby and Saul have a lot of it…a little bad, but a lot of good and even with his fuck ups, you could still see how much Saul cared about her and that was what pulled me to him.  Sadly…once Coen was fully in the picture, there was just no chance for me to remain team Saul…because there is no competing with the perfection that is Coen.

  ‘This is all new to me.  I realized I can’t wish away my life.  I seem to be stuck here for now and have to make the best of it.
I just wish he loved me the way I love him.’  

So…I totally didn’t see the love triangle thing coming but I totally liked it and it really worked.  I heart love triangles and the angst they bring…but that was only half of the joy of MM.  This is a romance, don’t get me wrong – but there is a whole journey and process that we go through with Maby, on top of all the relationship stuff.  Maby’s issues have issues and I felt like I was her cheerleader, excited for her when she overcame an obstacle or made progress and then frustrated or sad when she backpedaled.  I kinda felt like a yo-yo at times, but it worked with the flow of the story.  Of course…the best times for me, and Maby, were when Coen was in the picture…as if my ode to him wasn’t proof enough of that fact.  Maby + Coen = Bliss!  They’re fun and playful, he brought out the best in her and showed her how free she could be…how truly happy she could be…they were sexy, they were endearing and they were insanely addictive.   I understood her feelings about him and why she kept pushing him away, but it killed me.  Every time.  To the point of tears killed me.

   ‘“Being with you makes me forget who I really am.”  I say it with a smile, but then get serious when I realize the gravity of my statement.
He crinkles his face, a little frown forming between his brows.  “Maybe I just remind you of who you want to be…who you are when you’re not trying to be something else.”  His hand sweeps across my cheek and I lean into it, closing my eyes.
I wish he was right.  When he looks at me the way he is right now, I can almost believe him.’      

Speaking of tears…that happened a few times, which, it wouldn’t be a Willow Aster book if I didn’t cry at least twice, so I guess that’s just par for the course.  Maby dreams about her mom…wow, for whatever reason, they just cut right to my heart.  Plus…there is a scene around 96% when my heart was in my throat.  Willow has thrown some curve balls at me…she’s made me ugly cry, so I was a wee bit nervous when I was white-knuckling my kindle, praying to the book gods that she wasn’t going to crush my heart and soul beyond repair…but I wouldn’t have put it past her.  I’m being vague intentionally because it did illicit an emotional reaction for me, which is what I live for…but I really didn’t see the point after it was all said and done.  Nothing was gained by the event that couldn’t have been done in other ways, and without giving me a heart attack, so it just felt a little unnecessary.

    “It’s my one last ditch effort to maintain my head around you.”  He snorts and shakes his head.  “What the hell, I’ve lost all my moves.   Let me try that  again.  I am gone where you’re concerned, Maby.  Gone.  And you’re not there yet.  But once I’m inside you…”  He looks in my eyes when he says that and I get so lightheaded, I have to close my eyes.  His fingers life my chin and his lips touch mine.  His tongue softly traces my lips and I tremble.  “Once I’m inside you,” he whispers, “I’m not gonna be able to let you go.”      

Honestly, reading Maby’s POV did at some times make me feel a little bit crazy…if anything, that’s just a testament to Willow’s amazing writing – because the fact that Maby has a diagnosed mental disorder is never a secret.  It’s not prominent or shoved in your face every few pages, but it’s always in the background, we know she does count and have rituals and obsess over certain things.  I guess the main thing that I was missing from Maybe Maby that I have come to expect from Willow’s other books was this smooth flow…MM doesn’t really have that feel and while I loved that each chapter was titled (I’m a sucker for the little details)…the chapters were relatively short and the transitions made things a little jumpy for me.  Then again, and I know this is going to sound weird, but that and everything else about the book fit with Maby…if that makes any sense.  We’re never out of Maby’s POV so therefore it’s completely logical why I feel that way…because it matches Maby’s character.  Trust me…I thought about this a lot (clearly Mabel did have an slight impact on my psyche cause I started to feel a wee bit loony myself)…and if MM had been told with the same precision and conciseness that True Love Story and In the Fields had…it would have been too perfect…too clean…to proper – all the things that Maby really is not.  So…long story short, I get and appreciate why it was written the way it was.

     ‘I’m wiping my eyes from laughing, not crying, when I catch Coen staring at me.
“What?”
He gets so close so only I can hear him.  “I can’t believe you’re in my life.  Being with you is even better than I imagined,” he says.
I gulp and turn to face him.  “I never dreamed I would find someone like you.  Are you sure, Coen?  Are you sure you want me?”
He leans his forehead against mine.  “You’ve taken possession of my heart little by little, and now you own it, Maby.  Completely.”’    

I feel like I sound a little all over the place with my feelings and thoughts because…bottom line…I truly loved the characters, it hit all the right emotions and fell completely into Maby’s journey.  It wasn’t perfect…but this isn’t a story about perfect people falling in love and having an easy walk in the park.  It’s about a girl who has struggled to finally come to grips with her life and found someone who loves her unconditionally.  I can’t lie…but the last three words in the book give me hope for more.  Yes…ladies and gentleman, my clinger has reemerged and I’m holding on for dear life – I love Maby and Coen and would be over the moon excited for more.  So…I’ll just be over here…crossing my fingers… 😉

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Willow Aster is the author of True Love Story, In the Fields, and Maybe Maby. She lives with her husband and two kids on a tropical beach in paradise. Well, at least part of that is true … the rest is Story Lala Land, where Willow spends most of her time.